not good.

the results are in...
Current mood: scared

i am writing this in hopes that it will help me feel better. my mom and neil know already...so yeah. i got my test results back from my doctor. i have moderate dysplasia, also called CIN II. this means that i have abnormal, precancerous cells in my cervix. my gyno will perorm a laser treatment to vaporize the abnormal cells...and this apparently has a much faster healing time than a freezing procedure that used to be more commonplace. but the best part is that even after all this, it can just keep coming back. so i will be having pap smears every 3 months for the next year to ensure that the abnormalities aren't returning. so even if i get rid of it, i am really not getting rid of it. i am so scared and freaked out. i've never been under, and i've never had a surgery or really any medical procedures. i guess i've been lucky until now. now i am just sitting here at work, staring into space, trying to regain my composure. this was not the news i was expecting.